Category Archives: Marriage

Communication Problems Series, Part 4: Stonewalling

Is This You? Have you ever felt like ignoring a problem until it goes away?  It’s a great idea if you have a minor pain, maybe, or a difficult coworker you hardly ever see.  But some problems just get worse and worse.  They multiply like mold growing in a damp place in your home, or […]

Communication Problems Series, Part 3: Contempt

You Can Spot Contempt Easily The eye roll.  It’s probably the biggest indicator that things are not going well in a relationship.  Try it:  look away from the screen, fold your arms, frown, and roll your eyes like you’ve just heard the stupidest thing in the world.  Now what if that “stupidest thing” were your […]

Communication Problems Series, Part 2: Defensiveness

A Sneaky Problem Defensiveness is a big stumbling block to great communication because it’s so sneaky.  You can’t really see it very well unless you’re on the receiving end of it.  When we accidentally hurt someone, it seems so logical to explain how innocent we are.  “I didn’t mean it!”  or “I didn’t mean it […]

Communication Problems Can Be a Big Threat To Your Relationship

  What We Say (And Don’t Say) Matters If you wonder how big of a deal good communication is, there was a time when a problem in communication almost killed my husband. Well, actually, it was I who almost killed him.  And not really “almost killed,” but “almost didn’t save.” The reason communication is so […]

Fighting Over Something Stupid Again?

It Seems So Silly People who come to me for couples counseling are so often frustrated because they keep having battles over the dumbest things ever.  Like when something happens and you suddenly feel upset but it looks trivial to the other person.  You try to just let it go, but it keeps coming back. […]

“We have nothing in common anymore.”

What’s The Real Problem? When couples first come in to see me, one of them often diagnoses the problem.  They’ll say “we have nothing in common anymore.”  The idea seems to be that people have “things in common,” at first.  Then when that runs out, the relationship is kind of done.  Makes sense.  When you […]